True Friends of Hernando De Soto Headquarters
(Somewhere in France)

Official
News Release

Flash...

In a spectacular bid for racing's most coveted trophy, the "Maurice G. Bauer Bronze Bust," noted spectators Bob Whitworth and Mike Gray have enlisted the services of a mysterious unnamed driver (known euphemistically as "The Iron Man" or, "Tin Lizard," if you prefer) to pilot their 'True Friends of Hernando De Soto Special' in the infamous Cannonball Baker Sea-to-Shining-Sea Memorial Trophy Dash -- a race only closely rivaled in anonymity by the Gdansk "500" Wheelbarrow Marathon.

The "Iron Man" is said to be endowed with nerves of steel and possesses a driving talent in the realm of Oscar Kovaleski, Brock Yates, and a certain chicken salad sandwich with whom the entrants are acquainted.

In keeping with the Cannonball Baker tradition of allowing any make or mode of land transportation to compete, the team has elected to field a mount said to be the cumulative results of the last decade's technological advances (despite Ralph Nader).

Incorporating features in the true automotive tradition of the Antares, the Ti22, and the STP Turbine, the "Hernando Special" boasts such goodies as anti-squat and anti-roll devices, four wheels, three tires, a motor, 2-wheel brakes, and a working steering wheel (containing wracked pinions).

Mr. Whitworth and Mr. Gray feel confident that their entry is certain to wrest the coveted trophy from "The Assassin and Fancy Dan." However, should they not finish the race due to unforeseen circumstances ( i.e. parking tickets or rust), they feel that their passing will not go unheralded.

To quote the prolific Mr. Whitworth:

"The unprecedented technological triumph represented by the 'True Friends of Hernando De Soto Special' assures us that our brief incursion into the automotive arena will leave some indelible etchings upon corporate automotive history, and we shall thunder into obscurity, rather than slide."